Why Is This Happening To Me?

⁹ “And now I have become their taunt,
I have even become a byword to them.
¹⁰ “They abhor me and stand aloof from me,
And they do not refrain from spitting at my face.
¹¹ “Because He has loosed His bowstring and afflicted me,
They have cast off the bridle before me.
¹² “On the right hand their brood arises;
They thrust aside my feet and build up against me their ways of destruction.
¹³ “They break up my path,
They profit from my destruction;
No one restrains them.
¹⁴ “As through a wide breach they come,
Amid the tempest they roll on.
¹⁵ “Terrors are turned against me;
They pursue my honor as the wind,
And my prosperity has passed away like a cloud.

¹⁶ “And now my soul is poured out within me;
Days of affliction have seized me.
¹⁷ “At night it pierces my bones within me,
And my gnawing pains take no rest.
¹⁸ “By a great force my garment is distorted;
It binds me about as the collar of my coat.
¹⁹ “He has cast me into the mire,
And I have become like dust and ashes.
²⁰ “I cry out to You for help, but You do not answer me;
I stand up, and You turn Your attention against me.
²¹ “You have become cruel to me;
With the might of Your hand You persecute me.
²² “You lift me up to the wind and cause me to ride;
And You dissolve me in a storm.
²³ “For I know that You will bring me to death
And to the house of meeting for all living.

²⁴ “Yet does not one in a heap of ruins stretch out his hand,
Or in his disaster therefore cry out for help?
²⁵ “Have I not wept for the one whose life is hard?
Was not my soul grieved for the needy?
²⁶ “When I expected good, then evil came;
When I waited for light, then darkness came.
²⁷ “I am seething within and cannot relax;
Days of affliction confront me.
²⁸ “I go about mourning without comfort;
I stand up in the assembly and cry out for help.
²⁹ “I have become a brother to jackals
And a companion of ostriches.
³⁰ “My skin turns black on me,
And my bones burn with fever.
³¹ “Therefore my harp is turned to mourning,
And my flute to the sound of those who weep.

⁵ “If I have walked with falsehood,
And my foot has hastened after deceit,
⁶ Let Him weigh me with accurate scales,
And let God know my integrity.
⁷ “If my step has turned from the way,
Or my heart followed my eyes,
Or if any spot has stuck to my hands,
⁸ Let me sow and another eat,
And let my crops be uprooted.

⁹ “If my heart has been enticed by a woman,
Or I have lurked at my neighbor’s doorway,
¹⁰ May my wife grind for another,
And let others kneel down over her.
¹¹ “For that would be a lustful crime;
Moreover, it would be an iniquity punishable by judges.
¹² “For it would be fire that consumes to Abaddon,
And would uproot all my increase.

¹³ “If I have despised the claim of my male or female slaves
When they filed a complaint against me,
¹⁴ What then could I do when God arises?
And when He calls me to account, what will I answer Him?
¹⁵ “Did not He who made me in the womb make him,
And the same one fashion us in the womb?

¹⁶ “If I have kept the poor from their desire,
Or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail,
¹⁷ Or have eaten my morsel alone,
And the orphan has not shared it
¹⁸ (But from my youth he grew up with me as with a father,
And from infancy I guided her),
¹⁹ If I have seen anyone perish for lack of clothing,
Or that the needy had no covering,
²⁰ If his loins have not thanked me,
And if he has not been warmed with the fleece of my sheep,
²¹ If I have lifted up my hand against the orphan,
Because I saw I had support in the gate,
²² Let my shoulder fall from the socket,
And my arm be broken off at the elbow.
²³ “For calamity from God is a terror to me,
And because of His majesty I can do nothing.

²⁴ “If I have put my confidence in gold,
And called fine gold my trust,
²⁵ If I have gloated because my wealth was great,
And because my hand had secured so much;
²⁶ If I have looked at the sun when it shone
Or the moon going in splendor,
²⁷ And my heart became secretly enticed,
And my hand threw a kiss from my mouth,
²⁸ That too would have been an iniquity calling for judgment,
For I would have denied God above.

²⁹ “Have I rejoiced at the extinction of my enemy,
Or exulted when evil befell him?
³⁰ “No, I have not allowed my mouth to sin
By asking for his life in a curse.
³¹ “Have the men of my tent not said,
‘Who can find one who has not been satisfied with his meat’?
³² “The alien has not lodged outside,
For I have opened my doors to the traveler.
³³ “Have I covered my transgressions like Adam,
By hiding my iniquity in my bosom,
³⁴ Because I feared the great multitude,
And the contempt of families terrified me,
And kept silent and did not go out of doors?
³⁵ “Oh that I had one to hear me!
Behold, here is my signature;
Let the Almighty answer me!
And the indictment which my adversary has written,
³⁶ Surely I would carry it on my shoulder,
I would bind it to myself like a crown.
³⁷ “I would declare to Him the number of my steps;
Like a prince I would approach Him.

³⁸ “If my land cries out against me,
And its furrows weep together;
³⁹ If I have eaten its fruit without money,
Or have caused its owners to lose their lives,
⁴⁰ Let briars grow instead of wheat,
And stinkweed instead of barley.”